Berkeley has a new bar and it’s called Eschelman Lobby!
I think it was a Justice who announces something to the effect of "blah blah blah decorum blah blah no drinking blah blah" Now that’s a way to start off the night. However, since we are brilliant Cal students who as of late are receiving a crash course in how to disobey rules and then make up our own, the Eschelman Lobby Bar was born.
In response to a question about Andy Ratto, who was in Israel, Ben Narodick remarks that he’s currently “dodging bombs”. Only the peanut gallery laughs and in response they receive dirty looks from the Justices and Oren. This is the first appearance of Oren’s pained look. I can’t tell if he’s constipated or thinking, but either way the boy is hurting.
SA tries to recuse Justice Banerjee- she is pissed and SA gets denied.
Then it comes up that Justice Kate Feng should be recused. She gets extremely offended and responds very angrily. This is quite hysterical because she could have saved herself the embarrassment and public knowledge of her “extracurricular” activities with a friend of SA if she had just recused herself on her own in the beginning. So, she really has no reason to be mad she did it to herself. She ends up getting booted for the rest of the hearing.
SA has issues with Squelch having 3 representatives vs. their 2. Whoa they really can count??!! I’m amazed because they still contest that 4 is a small minority of 7- yup they’re geniuses in the making. Anway, this argument forces SA to admit they had legal help with their briefs which is sad because Squelch’s are actually better. Translation: To get the job done, Squelch needs drunkies and SA needs environmental lawyers who figure out how to let their employers legally pollute. Hmmm….
Some talk about how Suken wasn’t the SA spokesperson when he lied. Ummm… Yeah, okay guys good thing no one believes you. This defense isn’t even worth me wasting my time explaining.
It’s becoming obvious that Oren and Vishal can’t mount a defense to save their lives. Case in point: they are told repeatedly by Justices that the defense they are making isn’t double jeopardy. Then after saying this for the last time, one of the Justices actually asks them if they know what double jeopardy is. WOW- holy crap, someone hit the nail on the head with that one… at least the Justice asked what we had all been wondering. Peanut gallery erupts with laughter and more dirty looks ensue.
Apparently, the senate chamber webcam is a spy disguised as a malfunctioning camera. Everyone gets a kick out of it but Justice Banarjee is getting very annoyed, she secretly thinks people are spying (OOO watch out) and then makes a point of letting everyone know she "has issues with it." Obviously…
SA calls a witness who was an ASUC financial officer to help in their voice recorder argument. This guy is a piece of work and embodies part of the ASUC’s current problem- too much ego, no intelligence. The guy can’t remember how much anything costs or the amount of money any group ever requested or received. If he could have, I think he would have used a “magic money” argument to explain himself. He is, however, able to recall how much he pays for his own electronic devices and then remarks after being asked about whether or not a device can sufficiently do what the J-Council would need it to do that "his would." Yup the ASUC has competent people running it already.
I’ve been drinking for at least 6 or 7 hours and even I can realize this is the most stupid pointless attempt at an argument ever. I had to remind myself what this argument had to do with more than once.
It’s now obvious that this hearing is becoming a black hole and my Saturday night is quickly being sucked into it. SA’s attorneys realize this too or maybe seeing SA in action made them realize what they actually got themselves into. Either way, they peace out and leave SA alone with Oren’s note taking while glaring at people parents. Big mistake, Babysitter’s Club 101: you never leave a baby alone.
Something about Squelch using “fake people” court and “real or big people” court and SA throwing another fit. Yeah, I don’t know, it’s time for Bear’s Lair.
Somewhere in here there is a conversation about necrophilia and commando sperm. I begin to wonder if I’m hearing things or if I’ve been spending too much time in the Eschelman Lobby Bar. It takes him a few hours of leaning back in his chair, but Beetle finally manages to fall over in it, he then somehow gracefully rights himself without many noticing- he obviously hasn’t been drinking.
Justice Banerjee brings up the whole 4 isn’t a majority thing and is so pissed. She completely grills SA about this.
SA doesn’t know what the grounds for objections are and so when they object to things they start cross debates… Justice Banerjee is tired like everyone else and let’s Lauren Karasek deal with this for a while.
Squelch told they need to stop objecting to things.
BLAH BLAH BLAH- You’re all annoying me…
Justice’s need to deliberate by 3 am, we get to leave at 3:30 am.
Just typing this makes me need a drink. And I want to find out if there’s actually anything that says you can’t drink in the senate chambers. As long as we all play nice, keep our hands to ourselves, remember to use indoor voices and to share with our schoolmates I don’t see the problem. It makes no more of a mockery of things than the ASUC manages to do on it’s own anyways!
Thank you for this.
Comment by Andy R. — July 19, 2006 @ 9:29 pm
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Comment by Anonymous — July 20, 2006 @ 4:55 pm